Who am I?

As I am trying to decide what to put here, with ideas ranging from age/height/body measurements that mirror a dating ad to a self reflective essay on what I currently feel is God’s purpose for me, I am reminded of something Tess said in an episode of Touch By an Angel that I recently watched.

Tess is one of the main characters, an angel whose job it is to, in a short period of time, pretend to be human and befriend individuals who are unaware of how much they need God’s help.  Through the course of the show, she and other angels reveal their true identities and more importantly how much God loves them.

At the beginning of this particular episode Tess asks Monica, a fellow angel, who she is.  Monica simply answers, “Monica”.  Tess laughs and says that she is right and continues to explain that people are very different from angels.  She says, “Humans value themselves for what they do, rather than for who they are.”  So as to not leave you in suspense, I will tell you that the rest of the show unfolds with a husband/father losing his job as a construction worker.  Without his job, he begins to suffer and goes through a bit of an identity crisis.  All ends well with Tess and Monica both there to point the man back into the arms of the Father.

Tess seems to be very right in her observation!  My natural inclination is to tell you that I met my husband (R) when I was 23 and we were both active duty in the Air Force.  We got married, had a baby girl (H), and I continued working until she was 1.5 and I was about to give birth to my first son (A). I chose to separate from the military so that I may try and provide stability to my family while continuing to support R’s Air Force career.  It has been nearly 4 years since I decided to dedicate my working hours to full time mommyhood and in that time we had our 3rd child (S) who is now almost 2 years old and our 4th child (E) who is 6 weeks.  We currently live in Maryland, where we can be found playing with our friends and exploring the nation’s capitol while R pursues his M.D. at the joint services medical school in Bethesda.

While this provides you with short narrative and gives you a taste of my life choices, from which you can then infer some personality traits, it doesn’t seem to tell you much about who I am.

In short, I am a struggling Christian with my heart in His hands and my mind teetering between faith and skepticism. I am a perfectionist and an overachiever, to a fault. Spontaneity and I are great friends; there have been many occasions where I was ready to pack up my children and travel overseas to do missionary work, but my husband’s job and his more grounded approach to life provide a wonderful balance to my whimsy. My aspirations are numerous, and some might think far fetched, but I believe that God has prepared boundless opportunity for me and my family to serve those who are in need.

Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.